Upside Down You Turn Me

Local yokel and poor Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt has a huge crush on Gothic Diana, lead singer from Kankakee County band The Midnight Supremes. Robbie stalks Diana on Fakebook and Utube, telling her she is the best diva on earth and she can be the boss of him anytime. Do you think Diana is impressed?

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Damien is a Beauty, Alright

“Oh boy. Ooh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I am going to win this contest!” Damien thinks out loud as he shakes off his just-washed hands on the men’s room floor. “Who are you talking to?” a theater customer asks? “Oh nothing, nothing.” Damien insists and walks back to the ticket counter and reads his … Continue reading Damien is a Beauty, Alright

She’s A Mad, Mad, Woman

Meet Madeline “Madwoman” Topolla-Teirant, wife of CRASS Accounting Chief Konrad “Kon Man” Teirant and mother to his kids. Madeline met Konrad while drafting up his real estate deeds to ensure no other multiplexes can come to Kankakee. Human Resources Manager and Chief of Security at a low income housing complex, Madeline has a reputation for … Continue reading She’s A Mad, Mad, Woman

Smokey Gets Smoked

“Man, I am bored.” Smokey says aloud as she smokes in bed. Smokey has been an unhappy lot, unemployed from her CRASS debt collecting job. Smokey hears a loud pound on the door. She has been expecting a package, so she answers. “Kankakee County Sherriff. Is this Mrs. Ashe?” “Yes. Who dis?” “I am here … Continue reading Smokey Gets Smoked