"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Home Shopping Channel is about to show a whole hour of carpeting! I get to watch m'ladies walk on them BAREFOOT!" Damien exclaims, drools.
Sybil Kibble got excited to see these dog bowls full of food samples. However her heart sunk when she learned they were full of human food.
Local yokel and poor Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt has a huge crush on Gothic Diana, lead singer from Kankakee County band The Midnight Supremes. Robbie stalks Diana on Fakebook and Utube, telling her she is the best diva on earth and she can be the boss of him anytime. Do you think Diana is impressed?
“Get back in the kitchen, this pot is about to boil over!” Madeline Topolla-Teirant calls out to her husband, Konrad who is reading the CRASS company ledger in the bathoom. Kon washes his hands, flicks the water on the floor (a trick he learned from Teirant Cinema-13 clerk Damien Hurlbutt) and struts into the kitchen. … Continue reading Konrad Cooks the Books
Join Kankakee's newest Vaudeville act, MHA - Moronic Half Assets, across the USA! Kankakee theatre owner and comedian Konrad Teirant joins his mad clown wife, Madeline, in Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt's clownmobile as they tour the country! See them before they leave their stop in Utica, New York! MHA's tour dates: Champaign, IL: February 30 … Continue reading MHA – Moronic Half Assets
Kankakee Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt bought a purple clown car to impress the ladies. He sure thinks it has street appeal. What do you think?
Kankakee Bill Collector Sybil Kibble cannot wait to take her break doubling down on debtors so she can have a snack. Yum!
You should message Damien if: You think money can buy love. He spends $50.00 on his coworkers’s birthdays, imagine how much he can spend on you.
Bourbonnais, Illinois narcissist and fedora-sporting neckbeard Damien Hurlbutt, nortorious for writing his lunacy letters, posted this new picture to his dating ad on Tindling. What do you think?