"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Home Shopping Channel is about to show a whole hour of carpeting! I get to watch m'ladies walk on them BAREFOOT!" Damien exclaims, drools.
Sybil Kibble got excited to see these dog bowls full of food samples. However her heart sunk when she learned they were full of human food.
“Get back in the kitchen, this pot is about to boil over!” Madeline Topolla-Teirant calls out to her husband, Konrad who is reading the CRASS company ledger in the bathoom. Kon washes his hands, flicks the water on the floor (a trick he learned from Teirant Cinema-13 clerk Damien Hurlbutt) and struts into the kitchen. … Continue reading Konrad Cooks the Books
“Oh boy. Ooh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I am going to win this contest!” Damien thinks out loud as he shakes off his just-washed hands on the men’s room floor. “Who are you talking to?” a theater customer asks? “Oh nothing, nothing.” Damien insists and walks back to the ticket counter and reads his … Continue reading Damien is a Beauty, Alright
Join Kankakee's newest Vaudeville act, MHA - Moronic Half Assets, across the USA! Kankakee theatre owner and comedian Konrad Teirant joins his mad clown wife, Madeline, in Elvis impersonator Robbie Hurlbutt's clownmobile as they tour the country! See them before they leave their stop in Utica, New York! MHA's tour dates: Champaign, IL: February 30 … Continue reading MHA – Moronic Half Assets
Kankakee Bill Collector Sybil Kibble cannot wait to take her break doubling down on debtors so she can have a snack. Yum!
You should message Damien if: You think money can buy love. He spends $50.00 on his coworkers’s birthdays, imagine how much he can spend on you.
Meet Madeline “Madwoman” Topolla-Teirant, wife of CRASS Accounting Chief Konrad “Kon Man” Teirant and mother to his kids. Madeline met Konrad while drafting up his real estate deeds to ensure no other multiplexes can come to Kankakee. Human Resources Manager and Chief of Security at a low income housing complex, Madeline has a reputation for … Continue reading She’s A Mad, Mad, Woman