Home Shopping Channels and Chill

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Home Shopping Channel is about to show a whole hour of carpeting! I get to watch m'ladies walk on them BAREFOOT!" Damien exclaims, drools.

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Konrad Cooks the Books

“Get back in the kitchen, this pot is about to boil over!” Madeline Topolla-Teirant calls out to her husband, Konrad who is reading the CRASS company ledger in the bathoom. Kon washes his hands, flicks the water on the floor (a trick he learned from Teirant Cinema-13 clerk Damien Hurlbutt) and struts into the kitchen. … Continue reading Konrad Cooks the Books

Damien is a Beauty, Alright

“Oh boy. Ooh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I am going to win this contest!” Damien thinks out loud as he shakes off his just-washed hands on the men’s room floor. “Who are you talking to?” a theater customer asks? “Oh nothing, nothing.” Damien insists and walks back to the ticket counter and reads his … Continue reading Damien is a Beauty, Alright

I Wanna Speak To The Manager

“We need to increase our bottom line,” CRASS CEO Mack E. Avelli tells his entire staff in the board room. “Size matters.” Laughter fills the entire room. “Our budget is only so big and we need to increase our revenue to exceed expenses. We could only give so much to the Optimal Club last year … Continue reading I Wanna Speak To The Manager