Working the Streets

It is a beautiful morning in Kankakee. Sybil wakes up and checks her Fakebook page. “Five new messages? I wonder what they could be? Sybil clicks the small notification icon toward the top of the Web browser. The page reloads. “Pages like yours are being boosted. Reach 1000 users for just $10. Contact Fakebook Advertising … Continue reading Working the Streets

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CRASS Community Events

Kankakee County Events - Coming Soon! Sponsored by Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS), LLC. “We take from you, but we give back, too.” Medicine Pronouncing Contest School Bus Drag Racing Licorice Eating Competition Take Your Parents to Work Day Frozen Microwaved Meal Cooking Contest Stinkiest Cigarette Debate Crotch Rocketeers and Imbecile Machinists Motor Club Meeting Restaurant … Continue reading CRASS Community Events

New CRASS IT Guy Does Not Give a Crap

It was a beautiful morning for 31 year old Tyrell Fowler of Kankakee. He was about to start his new job with Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS), LLC, his first “real” job since graduating college ten years ago. He was happy to finally have his own place so he did not have to listen to his … Continue reading New CRASS IT Guy Does Not Give a Crap

Damien’s Mail-Order Bride

Damien Hurlbutt decided that it was getting too hard to pick up women in Kankakee County. Despite his most sincere offers of free movie tickets to the multiplex at which he works, all but one offer was rejected. One lady accepted and took another guy. “I know what women want” says this self-proclaimed nice guy … Continue reading Damien’s Mail-Order Bride

More Morons! Meet the Hurlbutts.

Meet the neighbours: Sybil's favourite, and the other cul-de-sac denizens' least favourite neighbours, The Hurlbutts. On the left you see Damien Ulysses Hurlbutt of Bourbannais, IL He is the 42 year old troglodyte son of Pearl Hurlbutt, Sybil Kibble’s elderly neighbour and best friend. Damien is divorced because he verbally abused his wife, who he … Continue reading More Morons! Meet the Hurlbutts.