Come Fry With Me

Psst, read Damien's entire lunacy letter here!


Oh No, My Dealer!

Local karaoke king, poor Elvis impersonator and narcissist Robbie Hurlbutt was so happy to finally get some people at one of his many gigs. Robbie believes in quantity over quality, or staying "prolific", as Robbie says. Too bad his speedball dealer showed up.

Damien Goes Postal

“It’s hotter than a boiled owl!” Damien says aloud, as he heads down the stairs to get his mail. “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I got my postcards off CBay. I bought over 200 from this guy, one at a time. What a great seller!” A lady across the way gives Damien the side … Continue reading Damien Goes Postal

Damien’s High Fashion

Damien Hurlbutt took this photo of his feet to put on his OKStupid dating ad, because he thinks it will really impress the single ladies out there. Damien thinks he his feet are really impressive. Damien feels he is a foot expert, as he really likes feet and looks at a lot of them. He … Continue reading Damien’s High Fashion

Droning it In

Doris and Keona Krabalsky need to try a new marketing tactic to sell their pyramid schemes. They call up local yokel Robbie Hurlbutt, known for his mediocre-at-best Elvis impersonation act. “Sorry babe, I am booked solid this month. I am making love to the audience every night this month.” “Get lost, Robert.” Doris disconnects her … Continue reading Droning it In

Robbie’s New Concert Poster

Since attendance has been declining at Robbie Hurlbutt's Elvis impersonation shows, he discovered a new marketing tactic: bribery. Why not give away free Kool-Aid to all fans in attendance? After all, the Kool-Aid Wacky Warehouse was located in Kankakee! Robbie thinks it is his best idea yet. Don't drink the Kool-Aid...