From: “Damien U. Hurlbutt” [ConnivingPimp@hautemail.con]
CC: “Robbie R. G. Hurlbutt” [Hoopstar@yoohoo.calm]
BCC: “Mom” [PJHurlbutt@fmail.kon]
Subject: Ohhh Yeah!
Check out this new thing I discovered in my new Blunter Image catalog, Jock Straps for Women! I may never wear them, but I gotta buy ‘em! Whaddaya think, babe? I mailed in my $50 check, since Fedora-Neckbeard M’ladies By Mail rejected my movie passes as payment.
As the last of my species, I hope you write me swiftly. In a couple of months, I plan on giving up on love and locking away my heart for eternity.
Your one-and-only GoldenToad,