Welcome aboard!

Welcome aboard!

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Aim High

“Oh man, I want to see the new movie Aim High but the tickets are all sold out. It opens this Friday, you know, the one based on the newest Nora Roberts book?” Dorian James rambles. “Never heard of it.” Sybil tells Dorian in the CRASS cafeteria as she crunches down her dog biscuits. “I … Continue reading Aim High

Shop Till You Drop, Sybil!

It’s a sunny day in Kankakee and Sybil is out for a walk. Sybil is strolling to the beat of auto-tuned mumble-country in her earbuds, when she spots a green cloth bag with a dollar sign on it lying on the ground near the Last National Bank of Kankakee County. “Hmmm, what should I do?” Sybil … Continue reading Shop Till You Drop, Sybil!

Wanna Buy An Oil?

Doris Krabalsky is Kankakee town troll Leona Krabalsky's younger sister who sells essential snake oils, investments you can sell your friends, stinky pink drinks, and other MLM products on the streets. Meet her at midnight. Wanna buy a shirt? (With this moron on it) https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/3847243-wanna-buy-an-oil?store_id=138403

Checkmate

Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS), LLC’s corporate slogan is “We take their money, so you don’t have to.” CRASS CEO Mack E. Avelli loves to find new ways to make money for the company. Because he is running out of fresh ideas, he decides to hold a meeting with the entire staff. “Anything to get some … Continue reading Checkmate

Sybil Joins The Gym

Sybil wants to meet some attractive, fit men, so she decides to join the local gym. Sybil sees a sign for a free, week-long membership for new members and immediately sashays in to sign up.  After giving away her address, mobile number, credit card number, work history, email address, and blood type, Sybil is ready … Continue reading Sybil Joins The Gym