Welcome aboard!

Welcome aboard!

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New CRASS IT Guy Does Not Give a Crap

It was a beautiful morning for 31 year old Tyrell Fowler of Kankakee. He was about to start his new job with Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS), LLC, his first “real” job since graduating college ten years ago. He was happy to finally have his own place so he did not have to listen to his … Continue reading New CRASS IT Guy Does Not Give a Crap

Damien’s Mail-Order Bride

Damien Hurlbutt decided that it was getting too hard to pick up women in Kankakee County. Despite his most sincere offers of free movie tickets to the multiplex at which he works, all but one offer was rejected. One lady accepted and took another guy. “I know what women want” says this self-proclaimed nice guy … Continue reading Damien’s Mail-Order Bride

More Morons! Meet the Hurlbutts.

Meet the neighbours: Sybil's favourite, and the other cul-de-sac denizens' least favourite neighbours, The Hurlbutts. On the left you see Damien Ulysses Hurlbutt of Bourbannais, IL He is the 42 year old troglodyte son of Pearl Hurlbutt, Sybil Kibble’s elderly neighbour and best friend. Damien is divorced because he verbally abused his wife, who he … Continue reading More Morons! Meet the Hurlbutts.

Sybil and the Lawnmower

While on her break from a particularly demanding — but successful — day at Credit Recovery Associates, LLC (CRASS), Lead Collections Representative Sybil Kibble takes a break from her usual dog food lunch to check out the online news. Sybil logs off the autodialer, sets down her headset, and logs into the daily Kankakee newspaper’s … Continue reading Sybil and the Lawnmower

CRASS Company Classifieds

Classifieds: No matter how long you work, an ad in the classifieds never stops working. 001 LOST AND FOUND: Lost: My mind. Please help! Call Mack at 555-3700. 002 ANNOUNCEMENTS: Wanted: The beast in my dreams...the one that makes them loony! Call the cops at 555-FIND if you find him. You are out there! The … Continue reading CRASS Company Classifieds

Sybil Can’t Fly.

It's that time again. Sybil is so excited for the annual CRASS leadership training conference in Hoboken, New Jersey, she can almost wet herself. However, she cannot fly. She does not want to fly, actually. It is not that she is afraid to fly; she just WON'T. Miss Sybil has an aversion to flying. She … Continue reading Sybil Can’t Fly.

Sybil’s Spit Machine, Bees & Lawnmower-Race Woes

Tacky, Tacky is she. Sybil Katrina Kibble had to go all the way to Chillicothe to buy herself a sit down model lawnmower because the hardware shop was backorderded. She left her lawn sprinkler on, too lazy to care about water conservation. She gets to the race, mad as heck because it is a push … Continue reading Sybil’s Spit Machine, Bees & Lawnmower-Race Woes