“Man, that cigarette smoke smells like horse manure! I am getting sick to my stomach!” How does she get away with it? I keep reporting Smokey Ashe to security and she keeps on smoking in her cubicle. I feel like I am going to heave!” an upset CRASS, LLC bill collector Dale Davis tells his … Continue reading When Smokey Stinks
Damien admires his hoard, the love of his life. He is thinking of adding this photo to his PlentyOfFlesh profile, to impress the ladies. Size matters, right?
Sybil Kibble saw this sample table at the store and got so excited! Who cannot resist free food?
Knock-knock. Damien ignores the letter carrier. “Must be my Weekly Weewee Wonders; the mailman can tuck those away in the box,” Damien tells himself, as he trims his glowing orange neckbeard. Damien dons his newest fedora, carefully selected from his newest box of identical hats ordered from an online retailer. Damien logs onto M’Ladies by … Continue reading Sucks to be Damien
1 April 2019 Mack E. Avelli Chief Executive Officer CRASS, LLC 7800 Beverly Blvd Kankakee, IL 60901 (815) 555-MACK Re: Money Giveaway! Kankakee, Illinois’ Credit Recovery Associates, (CRASS), LLC is pleased to announce its first annual money giveaway. Its associates will randomly call debtors and give away money instead of asking for them to pay … Continue reading Major CRASS Announcement!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdvAYBNgqk8 Exclusive to MoronicArts, leaked from his ex. Delete, delete, delete…
Damien strokes his orange neckbeard and pulls his blue jeans over his gut hanging out his too-small tee. “Not again! These tampon ads ruin my reruns of the Dude Show! They come on when I watch Family Dad too! I swear, they must know I am watching!” Damien screams. Damien’s cell phone plays a distorted … Continue reading Bottom Feeder
Sybil went on vacation to the dog food factory in Clinton, Iowa and had the time of her life. She posted these photos to her wall to remember her fun. Enjoy!
“I’m With Stupid” reads the graphic tee Leona Krabalsky wears to the Kankakee job fair. She along with her younger sister, Doris, are busy manning their booth. “I hope we sell truckloads of these here essential snake oils, you oily mama!” Leona slyly says as she slaps her sister on the arm. “I hope we … Continue reading I Do Not Like Spam
Damien Hurlbutt, movie clerk for Teirant Cinema-13, stars in their new TV commercial. Can you feel his enthusiasm? "I know." -- Damien.