Welcome aboard!

Welcome aboard!

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When Smokey Stinks

“Man, that cigarette smoke smells like horse manure! I am getting sick to my stomach!” How does she get away with it? I keep reporting Smokey Ashe to security and she keeps on smoking in her cubicle. I feel like I am going to heave!” an upset CRASS, LLC bill collector Dale Davis tells his … Continue reading When Smokey Stinks

Sucks to be Damien

Knock-knock. Damien ignores the letter carrier. “Must be my Weekly Weewee Wonders; the mailman can tuck those away in the box,” Damien tells himself, as he trims his glowing orange neckbeard. Damien dons his newest fedora, carefully selected from his newest box of identical hats ordered from an online retailer. Damien logs onto M’Ladies by … Continue reading Sucks to be Damien

Major CRASS Announcement!

1 April 2019 Mack E. Avelli Chief Executive Officer CRASS, LLC 7800 Beverly Blvd Kankakee, IL 60901 (815) 555-MACK Re: Money Giveaway! Kankakee, Illinois’ Credit Recovery Associates, (CRASS), LLC is pleased to announce its first annual money giveaway. Its associates will randomly call debtors and give away money instead of asking for them to pay … Continue reading Major CRASS Announcement!

Bottom Feeder

Damien strokes his orange neckbeard and pulls his blue jeans over his gut hanging out his too-small tee. “Not again! These tampon ads ruin my reruns of the Dude Show! They come on when I watch Family Dad too! I swear, they must know I am watching!” Damien screams. Damien’s cell phone plays a distorted … Continue reading Bottom Feeder

I Do Not Like Spam

“I’m With Stupid” reads the graphic tee Leona Krabalsky wears to the Kankakee job fair. She along with her younger sister, Doris, are busy manning their booth. “I hope we sell truckloads of these here essential snake oils, you oily mama!” Leona slyly says as she slaps her sister on the arm. “I hope we … Continue reading I Do Not Like Spam