Psst, read Damien's entire lunacy letter here! https://moronicarts.wordpress.com/2019/02/24/lunacy-letter-from-damien-to-his-ex/
Local karaoke king, poor Elvis impersonator and narcissist Robbie Hurlbutt was so happy to finally get some people at one of his many gigs. Robbie believes in quantity over quality, or staying "prolific", as Robbie says. Too bad his speedball dealer showed up.
Kankakee student, wannabe filmmaker and socipath Pat Splatt poses for the camera. He sure looks like nice guy, at least he thinks so. What do you think?
It is game show night at the Autism Center and washed up artist and filmmaker Pat Splatt was hoping to pose as an a person on the spectrum so he can bully people there. Little did he know what was in store for him.
“It’s hotter than a boiled owl!” Damien says aloud, as he heads down the stairs to get his mail. “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I got my postcards off CBay. I bought over 200 from this guy, one at a time. What a great seller!” A lady across the way gives Damien the side … Continue reading Damien Goes Postal
Damien Hurlbutt took this photo of his feet to put on his OKStupid dating ad, because he thinks it will really impress the single ladies out there. Damien thinks he his feet are really impressive. Damien feels he is a foot expert, as he really likes feet and looks at a lot of them. He … Continue reading Damien’s High Fashion
Doris will do anything to make a buck. What do you think of her new print advertisement? Look for her in a newspaper, on a cafe bulletin board or on a highway billboard near you.
Broken News: Mediocre Kankakee performer Robbie Hurlbutt dances his way all around the county! Bourbannais, Bradley, Aroma Park -- look out!
Doris and Keona Krabalsky need to try a new marketing tactic to sell their pyramid schemes. They call up local yokel Robbie Hurlbutt, known for his mediocre-at-best Elvis impersonation act. “Sorry babe, I am booked solid this month. I am making love to the audience every night this month.” “Get lost, Robert.” Doris disconnects her … Continue reading Droning it In
Since attendance has been declining at Robbie Hurlbutt's Elvis impersonation shows, he discovered a new marketing tactic: bribery. Why not give away free Kool-Aid to all fans in attendance? After all, the Kool-Aid Wacky Warehouse was located in Kankakee! Robbie thinks it is his best idea yet. Don't drink the Kool-Aid...